2/24/11

Why You Shouldn't Get Mad at Work

8 shared love by: Ruby at 8:28 AM

Back in the Cold War days, and even still today, nations would negotiate and operate under the understanding of Mutual Assured Destruction or "MAD." This doctrine requires each side to have enough force that if one is attacked by another, the other would respond with equal force, or a force that is greater. However, no one wants to be the first to attack, which keeps everyone under control and at "peace."


But that's not true on the job.

If you strike while infuriated at work, you can't expect the fight to continue as you may simply be shown the door. Think back to the movie "Jerry Maguire," where Jerry, a former company rock star, challenges the office's status and decides to take a stand. He rages through the office and then asks those around him,


"Who's coming with me?"


After a long uncomfortable moment, Jerry leaves with just one person and a goldfish. While things worked out well for Jerry personally and professionally, life rarely imitates art. If you find yourself getting too mad and letting your emotions escalate to a point where your actions and words may be irrecoverable, stop before the only option you have left is to walk out the company doors for good.


When emotions heat up, try these five techniques to bring it down a notch:


Remember your nursery rhymes. "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." Getting too emotional over words doesn't do anyone any good. If you are not careful, you may respond in a way you'll regret. Let unpleasant words roll off your back and respond once you've had time to cool down.


Sleep on it. We live in an era where everything is deemed urgent, and the smallest e-mail requires an immediate response. However, think carefully before you shoot back an emotionally-charged response. It's always better to address these types of e-mails after you've had a chance to carefully consider your reply, especially because e-mails last forever and can go to people and places you never imagined. The best attitudinal adjustment between hope and despair can be a good night's sleep.


Take a walk before you take a hike. When emotions stir inside, try walking them out. A walk around the building can do wonders. If the boiling point reaches a crescendo and you've tried everything to change the situation, then it may be time to change jobs. But, before you put in your resignation letter and take a hike, make sure your decision to leave the company is based on reason, not emotion. Quitting is a permanent reaction to what might have been a temporary problem if emotion was left out of it.


Don't push it. In the heat of battle, it always feels like we should push to get in the last word or make the point even more emphatically. Remember that your workplace is not a place where anyone is indentured; working is a choice, and it's optional. It might just be better to let the point go rather than cross the line that causes someone to leave the company or another employee to lose their dignity. It's a fine line between assertiveness and aggressiveness, but that line should be known and respected.


Follow the 'Golden Rule.' When angry, the most important lesson to remember is to treat a person the way you want to be treated. That respect goes a long way.

 

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2/10/11

Improving Your Memory: Tips and Techniques to Help You Remember

1 shared love by: Ruby at 5:40 PM


...you know, that thing... I forgot.

Having problems forgetting appointments, to-dos, errands, picking up after yourself, getting out of bed... not to mention forgetting birthdays, and even anniversaries?

If you are like many people, you will often find yourself forgetting something. In an age of computers, PDA’s, and many other devices - this may be ok for some folks, unless you forget where you put those devices. Others may want to increase their ability to memorize things - luckily there are a few creative ways you can improve your long and short term memory.

USE YOUR SENSES & BE AWARE

Practice creating vivid images/concepts in your head - using all of your senses. Analyze your surroundings by sound, sight, smell, taste, and touch. Being aware all of your senses will give your mind more ways to associate (and thus remember) when it is time to recall something.

This is like a form of meditation -- which is good for your brain in a variety of ways.

Practice this tip of simply being more aware of your surroundings everyday and you will find your general memory greatly improved.

HUMOR AND VULGARITY

If you need to memorize something specific try using humor or vulgarity as a memory aid. Make a nasty or funny limerick about something that needs to be remembered and you'll have a hard time forgetting. (Great tip for students)

DON'T WORRY, BE MINDFUL

There has been a lot said about the power of positive thinking. Recently, a huge bandwagon of new-age positive thought = positive outcome theories have been on tips of everyone's tongue from Oprah to your local convenience store clerk. Just do a google search for "Law of Attraction" or "The Secret" if you aren't in the cult loop.

Negative thoughts fog our minds, but clearing out the negative and focusing on the positive also improves memory & concentration.

Stress is a big brain buster, so minimize stress and negative thoughts to keep your wits.

“What to do if you find yourself stuck in a crack in the ground underneath a giant boulder you can't move, with no hope of rescue. Consider how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far, which given your current circumstances seems more likely, consider how lucky you are that it won't be troubling you much longer.”

SEE THE FUTURE

Have trouble remembering to-dos, appointments, meetings, deadlines, birthdays and other future events?

Here is the secret: When you know you have an upcoming event you don't want to forget, picture yourself at the event. What are you doing, who is there, what does it smell like? Imagine the event...even better: imagine yourself taking the steps that lead to the event.

For example... let's say tomorrow you have to call someone. Picture yourself in your home/office. Picture yourself picking up the phone. Imagine dialing the number and talking to the person of the other end.

ASSOCIATE

Association is among one of the easiest and most used tools in learning. This is the process of taking the information you wish to memorize, and linking it mentally to something else that is natural to you. When learning something new, try to associate the new concept with one to which you are already familiar.

Couple association with being aware using all of your senses and you will have a higher rate of successful recall.

CHUNKING

Chunking information is a great mnemonic method to remember multiple items. Many people naturally use chunking to remember phone numbers: Instead of thinking "17342876642" we chunk it as 1-734-287-6642.

WRITE IT DOWN

We generally think of "writing things down" as a means to NOT have to remember something. The paper does the work for -- we just need to remember where we put that piece of paper...

But, writing things down has another effect: you clear your mind and take away the stress of "having to remember", and by doing so you actually have more room in your noggin for remembering stuff. I know that explanation wasn't scientific, but it works.

 

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2/8/11

Love is a Choice

0 shared love by: Ruby at 6:35 PM

It's been a long while since I haven't updated this blog I wonder if there's still someone who visits this. XD I've been absent for a long time and I can think of so many alibis and excuses on why this is so. But anyway I'm in the mood to post and hopefully this mood will retain so I can actually maintain this rusty blog. And since it's February and Valentine's is near (which is somewhat a traditional holiday here in the country and most countries), I guess I can start anew with something that involves LOVE. So here goes...

That you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Deuteronomy 30:20 (NIV)


Love is a choice and a commitment. You choose to love or you choose not to love.

Today we’ve bought into this myth that love is uncontrollable, that it’s something that just happens to us; it’s not something we control. In fact, even the language we use implies the uncontrollability of love. We say, “I fell in love,” as if love is some kind of a ditch. It’s like I’m walking along one day and bam! – I fell in love. I couldn’t help myself.

But I have to tell you the truth – that’s not love. Love doesn’t just happen to you. Love is a choice and it represents a commitment.

There’s no doubt about it, attraction is uncontrollable and arousal is uncontrollable. But attraction and arousal are not love. They can lead to love, but they are not love. Love is a choice.

You must choose to love God; he won’t force you to love him (Deuteronomy 30:20). You can thumb your nose at God and go a totally different way. You can destroy your life if you choose to do that. God still won’t force you to love him. Because he knows love can’t be forced.

And this same principle is true about your relationships: you can choose to love others, but God won’t force you to love anyone.

 

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